10 Tips to Building a Lasting Relationship

All of us want to build lasting and loving relationships. Building strong relationships is an art and science that we need to learn. Here are some important tips that you can apply, some modification, to your family, friendships and work relationships.

1. Build up environment where you can share without any fear.

Listen without interrupting. Avoid name calling. Don't make any threats. Express apology whenever required. If you are too disappointed to listen, go elsewhere and take time to calm down. You must remember that the other person is not your enemy.

2. Keep facts and feelings separated.

Ask yourself about the feelings and beliefs that enter in you during fights. Enquire if anything from your past is governing your vision about present situation. The most important question to be answered is whether it is actually about him or her or it is about you!

Once you successfully separate facts from feelings, things become clearer and there are better chances of resolving conflicts.

3. Connect your own parts.

Each of us is made of several sections. You must work to let your mind, heart, body and gut connect to each other. For instance, your mind says "leave her" but your heart says "I love her".

When these parts speak to one another, you will be able to listen what your whole self wants.

4. Cultivate the quality of compassion.

Avoid judging and observe yourself and your partner. Compassion means opposite of judging. When you show compassion, you are connected, open and more available to conversing with the other person. Try and learn seeing your partner more compassionately to choose your reactions more powerfully.

5. Make "we" to accommodate the two "I"s.

A thriving, growing and supportive relationship is based on being connected inspite of distance. Each person in a strong relationship has to sacrifice a part of self and create a nwe' that is stronger than the sum of the two nI's.

6. Heal on your own.

Don't try and heal your partner's wounds or expect him/her to heal yours. However, you can support the process as he/she works with self and vice versa.

7. Speak out the hard things.

Identify the hard things you have not been talking about. However it feels, gather the energy and speak it out in a constructive manner if it is really important to say.

8. Ask Questions.

Making up our own interpretations out of the partner's behavior is not right. It is better to ask lot of questions and listen to the answers with whole self.

9. Respect your differences.

Differences between two of you are not negatives. It is not necessary that a relationship with someone who shares your views and interests is successful. In fact, those differences are what keeps the relationship thriving and exciting.

10. Give time to your relationship.

However busy you are, nurture your relationship. Schedule some time for its well-being. Just like a garden, your relationship grows as much as you nurture it.